Messages from E.

I keep receiving messages. Like ghosts drifting from my past they arrive now with more frequency. I don't know how to handle it. I guess like so many years before I will wait and wait. She seems like the same person I remember. Her life is the same too. I guess I haven't changed a lot either looking at my reaction to all this. Feelings I thought were long dead suddenly stir like zombies resurrected. I wonder if I need a metaphorical bullet to the brain.

I wish I had someone to talk to about this. I know what Dad would say. I don't want to hear it. I am enjoying myself too much.

Peace

dumbdavid

10 Years later.

2011 is really turning out as a blast from the past. I heard from E. tonight. I can't believe it's been ten years. We had a nice chat via message. She seems well and happy. I am happy for her. My heart sure jumped when I saw her name in the message. I was able to apologize for which I am grateful. I didn't handle the break up well. Does anyone? Seeing her current picture is weird too.

Three women from my past reconnect with me in the last 9 months. I didn't seek them out. They found me. I date one, courted the second. Now the third contacts me. Talk about Deja Vu'.

So, I am losing my mind I guess.

Peace

dumbdavid

Rejection

There was always a slim hope but not any more. Rejection gets harder every time it happens. I am not sure how much more I can take. To open my heart after so long only to be hurt again is nearly unbearable. I guess I get what I deserve for climbing out of my bubble. It just felt real and great. More scar tissue will form over my heart. I am happy for her. She seems happy and that is great. Phyllis is a wonderful lady. I wish her the best. I am truly grateful for everything we shared.

Peace

dumbdavid