Facebook

I got onto Facebook to monitor my daughter. Now, I have my own friends. Except one just unfriended me. This person I thought was a close friend. We had emailed extensively even though we live far apart. We hadn't spoken for 26 years until she found me on FB. It's been a roller coaster ride for sure. I though we had made a special bond. It is just like my life to have things start falling apart again. It's a vicious cycle of a couple okay years followed by incredible stress and strife. Like David Byrne says, "Same as it ever was, same as it ever was". Fuck! I am so hurt and frustrated. A beer would be so good right now. Yeah that's the ticket. Let's go straight back to insanity. That would be so much better. A little Latin for you listeners.

Lorem
Ipsum

Translated literally means pain for pains sake!

Peace

dumbdavid

Stupid, Crazy Love

Well I went to a movie today. 14.50 including popcorn and diet coke. At least I got my money's worth. I saw Stupid, Crazy Love. I laughed really hard in spots and was moved in others. I won't give away plot but Steve Carell was very good along with everyone else.

So my daughter called asking for money for the fair next week. I felt bad I can't send it until Monday. Her Mom had to butt in the conversation to ask if I am working yet. No, but I have found some leads. I really don't want to move due to hassle and expense. I might have to. St. Cloud is a good town if I go there. A lot of memories.

Did I post that found J. On Facebook? Shocking really. I guess I am in some form of contact with most of my exes. Pretty strange I guess. I wonder if it would have been better to stay in stealth mode. At least E. Has been friendly. J. hasn't communicated with me only accepted my friend request. I will leave her alone. She has her life. I think I ruined my chance I had with L. I seem to be really good at that.

Soul mates? That was the theme of today's movie. I thought several times I have found my soul mate. Maybe I did at sixteen and it just wasn't meant to be in this lifetime. Maybe next one.

To B.

The desert sunrise awaits us


Peace

dumbdavid

A Walk to Remember

Is Nicholas Sparks a genius or a schmuck for books he writes? Genius is a little strong but he has the genre down pat. I had read the book, A Walk to Remember, but tonight I watched the movie. It started a little too much like an average teen movie, then it switched. The last half definitely was stronger. I was touched more than I had been by the book. I hope they keep making more of his books into movies. There are a couple I'd like to see.

My short stories seem like cheap imitations of his stories. I wonder if I should keep trying. I have some writers block again. I started a story but not sure it should be finished. I have no other ideas either. My disaster story is stalled too. It feels like a waste of time.

I guess not much more tonight.

Peace

dumbdavid

Job apps.

Well I am in the job search mode again. The multi billion dollar company that injured me just can't seem to find a job that fits me. The wicked witch of Alexandria "D. E." should be fired for her lack of human resource. It is a sad world when an employer cares so little for employees while claiming to be concerned with safety.

So, I filled out to job applications today. Probably, the first of many I will do. It sucks! Middle age job hunts suck! It is almost as worse as dating as I approach my 46th birthday. Which, I will probably be alone again.

We interrupt this pity party. Those responsible have been sacked!

Of course my back is out again......

Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked.

Of course I slipped into silliness to avoid my obvious discomfort. Deflect with humor I say.

Peace

dumbdavid

The Fighter ie: Brothers

Wow, I just watched the movie, The Fighter. It tells the story of boxer Mickey Ward and his brother Dickey. I guess I should of been prepared for the story. I just under estimated the impact it would have on me. There are some who have accused me of "living in the past". I don't think that is totally true. I had my heart broken in 1980 with the suicide of my older brother. My heart never healed completely. I think all my relationships have suffered because of it. I don't blame Scott either. I think it's just the truth and it's my fault.

I sit tonight in my sadness. Life is tough now because of several things. I went to Facebook tonight. Sometimes it's the worst or best website. Tonight I viewed an alternate life I could of had. Strange. I am not saying I didn't have the life I deserved because I did. Everything happened for a reason including the choices I made. It was just the combination of the movie, my brother, and my current loneliness.

I am happy for her. She seems to have a happy life. She still has that cheerful smile. I can hear her giggle. I think I will listen to Billy Joel for awhile in nostalgia.

Peace

dumbdavid