She is graduating in just over a month. My little girl has grown up and slipped away from me. She is angry with me and resentful of my new marriage. She throws it in my face all the time now. She only calls me for money. I have spoiled her and now I am paying the price. I should of given her more time than the things money buys. I had a Catch-22 decision ten years ago with two bad choices. I know if I had stayed down there my Dad would be dead now. I would be close with my daughter like I used to be. I know I have increase the quality of life for my father though. My daughter is young and hopefully one day understand. He is old and dying. His gratitude means a lot to me even with all the nagging.
Life is not perfect. I love my wife and family but nothing is perfect. Work sucks and there is never enough money for what we need. Now I have the added stress of R. drinking. When we met she didn't seem to drink too much. Only on visits to her parents did I notice how much she drank. It also was the first time it became stressful. We have had several discussions and on big argument about it. I don't know what to do. I can't change her thinking or actions only mine. So, I try and contain my thoughts. It just sucks when she climbs in bed smelling of rum. I passed 15 years of sobriety in March. She says I am just labeling myself. It was almost like the original argument I had with my parents. I know it's about her and not me. I ran down the reasons I believe I am a drunk. She was still dismissive and acted like AA brainwashed me.
AA saved me. No one can ever take that away from me. Now, I find myself thinking about drinking again. Like, I will show her by proving what a drunk I am. Then I snap back to reality. I think about E and T. I don't want E to ever see me drunk. She already deals with that in her biological father. T. probably has no memories of me drinking. I told her I had passed 15 years of sobriety. She made a bitchy remark about she was surprised consider our house. Yes R. and her adult kids drink. It wasn't a fair comment. It's one of many incidences of T's mother influencing her.
I am hoping when T. gets to college she will get some clarity. Her mom has poisoned her too long.
One month of child support left, then college.
Peace
dumbdavid
