It is funny how things worked out. What I thought was real wasn't. What I felt was used. I thought it was something real but suspect was only a diversion. I'm not sure how to process the new information I have learned. I am not angry, just more hurt. I think I understand but can't be sure. I guess I see how it happened, she was confused, turned to me. My mess turned her back to him. Now, she is alone. I truly wish Phyllis the best. I wish the hurt wasn't there, here. I don't regret any of it.
Peace
dumbdavid
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
A Vampire's life
I just woke up a half hour ago. I like working on the third shift again, but. There are small issues. I liven a busy street so noise is a problem. The garbage truck drivers think they are Dale Jr. My dad seems surprised when I call him, "you sound down.". Actually, I just woke up and the caffeine hasn't kicked in. Duh!
I haven't written about the Talking Stick 20 book release party. It was great. I met so many interesting people there. I was hoping to find someone to edit my short story collection but my shyness kept me from asking. It was amazing seeing my poem in the book along with so many gifted writers. I read my poem in front of about 50 people. That was scary, easily the biggest crowd I had read in front of. My poem 'Scars' is very personal. Now, dad wants to see the book and of course, my poem. How will he react? Will he realize it is mostly about him. I was thinking of showing him my book but afraid of the pain it would cause. Wish I knew what to do.
The sun shines here today, cool.
Peace
dumbdavid
I haven't written about the Talking Stick 20 book release party. It was great. I met so many interesting people there. I was hoping to find someone to edit my short story collection but my shyness kept me from asking. It was amazing seeing my poem in the book along with so many gifted writers. I read my poem in front of about 50 people. That was scary, easily the biggest crowd I had read in front of. My poem 'Scars' is very personal. Now, dad wants to see the book and of course, my poem. How will he react? Will he realize it is mostly about him. I was thinking of showing him my book but afraid of the pain it would cause. Wish I knew what to do.
The sun shines here today, cool.
Peace
dumbdavid
Sunday, September 04, 2011
Sadness
Sadness comes and goes in my life. Please understand this isn't a complaint. My mood ebbs and flows lime the tide washing in and out. I watch movies and my emotions let go. I wonder what is left in my life. My daughter is growing up and away from me. My father says it was bound to happen. I am sad at this. This blog is my place to voice my emotions instead of internalizing or repressing them. I feel very alone tonight.
I feel grateful that I have only one wish left in life. My dreams have come true. I have loved and been loved. I served with honor as a policeman and soldier. I have played music and created poems from thin air. All that I wish for my life is love, long lasting love. I accept that it probably won't happen. Such is life.
Peace
dumbdavid
I feel grateful that I have only one wish left in life. My dreams have come true. I have loved and been loved. I served with honor as a policeman and soldier. I have played music and created poems from thin air. All that I wish for my life is love, long lasting love. I accept that it probably won't happen. Such is life.
Peace
dumbdavid
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