Wow, I just watched the movie, The Fighter. It tells the story of boxer Mickey Ward and his brother Dickey. I guess I should of been prepared for the story. I just under estimated the impact it would have on me. There are some who have accused me of "living in the past". I don't think that is totally true. I had my heart broken in 1980 with the suicide of my older brother. My heart never healed completely. I think all my relationships have suffered because of it. I don't blame Scott either. I think it's just the truth and it's my fault.
I sit tonight in my sadness. Life is tough now because of several things. I went to Facebook tonight. Sometimes it's the worst or best website. Tonight I viewed an alternate life I could of had. Strange. I am not saying I didn't have the life I deserved because I did. Everything happened for a reason including the choices I made. It was just the combination of the movie, my brother, and my current loneliness.
I am happy for her. She seems to have a happy life. She still has that cheerful smile. I can hear her giggle. I think I will listen to Billy Joel for awhile in nostalgia.
Peace
dumbdavid
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