I just heard the title of this post. I have heard it many times but it doesn't change why the answer is so right. Because it feels so good when I stop. The only thing is I don't ever stop. My bad decisions just exaberate my life. I just choose a different hammer and swing away. Ball peen, sledge, brass, oh they all they have a different level of pain to them. They are my ethos.
There are key moments we face in our lifetimes when we face decisions. Those decisions are like roads splitting off from the main one we are on. What would you give to be able to go back and undo your choices. Would you change those choices and thereby change who you are today. Would I be sober today if I hadn't of kissed her? That thought occurred to me. Would I still be a police officer today? I will never know either way. The question is, was a kiss worth the price of sobriety vs. losing a career. I have asked myself this a thousand times. It always comes back as yes until now.
My situation has soured so bad that I question every decision I have ever made and wish to undo them all. I then realize that if I did I may not have my daughter. Could I dissect my life and fix the bad sections and keep my daughter. Obviously I can't. I am just feeling sorry for myself again.
The snow is flying soon. I have no car and I will have to walk to work. My bike riding days are numbered. C'est la vie!
peace
dumbdavid
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