I started writing this blog and the original at diaryland anonymously. I did this in the attempt that I would be more honest. I was worried I would be too self editing and not forthcoming with my feelings otherwise. I made a simple rule, be honest and true. Recently, I broke the anonymous nature by putting someone's real name in this blog. I struggle with removing it or not removing it.
I questioned myself on why I put it in. I also included a picture. I guess, I hoped that she would find this blog. I wondered what would happen if she contacted me again. I won't go find her. I moved away to give her the space and dignity she deserved. Neither of us needed to see each other anyway.
Time changes everything doesn't it? I watched "A lot like love" tonight. I had seen it before. The main characters meet and then keep finding each other over the following years. Hollywood being it's sappy self brings them together in the end of the movie. Kleenex please.
Life isn't that way, I know. I am having a pity party. Woe is David. The guy had lots of chances he couldn't make work. Lots of pretty faces to choose from. I wonder if I am suppose to spend the rest of my life alone now like my father. My mom will be dead three years this April. He can't move on and at 68 I understand. I am 42 and going no where fast.
I am sorry if I hurt you again Eileen by including you in this blog. I am just trying to sort through this mess of my life.
peace
dumbdavid
No comments:
Post a Comment