Frosted trees

I went to my new therapist yesterday. I liked her. She seemed to know what she was doing. She is also a survivor of suicide. She lost her mother over 30 years ago. She wants me to journal each day. Writing three things that were positive each day. This morning driving to Caribou coffee I saw all the trees were frosted. It looked like they had been flocked like Christmas trees. It was very Christmas like.

She says writing in the journal has to do with re-framing. We went over several events in my life and discussed finding the positive in each. I told her how the suicide of my brother had help me help a small child after his older brother had drowned. I sat with him in the lobby of the ER consoling him until family members showed up. It was a police officer that had told me my brother was dead. I found it very circular. My therapist called it a "God" moment. That they didn't just happen, no coincidences. I don't know if I agree with the term "God" moment. I agree it is too strange to be just a coincidence. I just don't believe God intervenes in individuals lives. There is just to much pain and loss for there to be a "reason" or purpose for each tragedy. I don't know.

I guess I scared my dad yesterday. I told him that my therapist had lost her mother to suicide. He jumped to the conclusion that I had told her I was suicidal. I am not. I explained to him that I had to tell her all about my life history and then she shared about her mother. That calmed him down. I knew this would happen. I knew telling him would cause him extra stress.

Peace

dumbdavid P.S. my therapist hates this signature.