Cliff

My friend Cliff died yesterday at 10:35am. He pulled out across an intersection from a stop sign into the path of an oncoming Super Duty Ford 1 ton pickup. He was killed instantly. He was a quarter mile from home and from my Dad's place. Cliff was 75 years old. He was really my Dad's friend but like a dutch uncle to me. He gave me some wonderful advice after I found sobriety. I was arguing with my parents who didn't believe I was an alcoholic. Stressed out I asked Cliff, who is sober, what to do. He told me to take care of myself. He said I couldn't control their thoughts and actions only mine. He was so right and funny very much a twelve step idea. I have to let go of other peoples thoughts, actions, behaviors and resentments. I was able to move on and let go of their irrational ideas. Eventually it became a non topic, among others, with them. Cliff was a good man. He had a large family. His sons were very close to me in age. I feel so bad for them. I now fear my fathers death even more. I thought Cliff would be there to help me through it. Now, I have to hope my new girlfriend doesn't get sick of me. I can't imagine going through another loss alone. Last night as I cried she held me and told me it was okay as I apologized for my weakness. I then apologized again for apologizing. I know it's okay to cry. It's part of the ordinary grief process. But us tough guys don't cry I say. Huh? So I talked and cried into my girlfriends arms. I can't write anymore out of exhaustion. I will miss you Cliff.

Peace

dumbdavid