It is a weird lifestyle when you work the overnight schedule. I basically work two days on two days off twelve hour shifts. I try and stay up late on my days off so my body stays adjusted to the night schedule. I am basically a vampire that can tolerate the sun with sunscreen.
It sounds like I have a new neighbor upstairs. It had been pretty quiet the last month but it's constant walking and moving stuff tonight. We'll have a talk tomorrow. It sucks where I live but it's the only thing I can afford. Plus, there is no long term lease. I want to move back down south where my daughter lives[with ex] but there is little work.
I just spent a half an hour searching through online personal ads. It was depressing. I can't really look for anyone right now. I am kind of a mess. It is hard to date with no car. I have really fallen down since my divorce in 2000. I turn 40 next month which I am cool with. It's strange looking at woman my age on the internet. Most of them look really old. I have been told I look really young. I barely have any gray hairs except in my moustache.
I am listening to depressing love songs from the 70's and 80's right now. Roberta Flack is singing the "first time ever I saw your face...." I have been really blessed in loving three women in my life and having them love me back. The relationships didn't work out for various reasons. I am as much at fault as anything. It took me a few years to figure this out. It is amazing what perspective sobriety can bring to you. Writing poetry and posting on the web have also given my a chance to stand back and look at things objectively, honestly.
"Moons and Junes and Ferris wheels" Joni sings so sweet. I miss the 70's and 80's sometimes. I guess that's part of growing older, the reminiscing.
Reminiscing
Sing the times that have passed
The chorus echoes in all of us
Cry for the people left behind too
They were smoke rings that blew away
Summers with Simon and Garfunkel
America still out there to find
Passing the high water mark
It's reminiscing for a moment
peace
dumbdavid
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