Tonight was a repeat episode of a teenage girl who murders her alcoholic mother. It is a powerful episode where the lead detective, "Oliva" reveals that she endured a similiar childhood with an alcoholic mother. I don't remember large chunks of my childhood and I guess it is because I repress it. I do remember the times my father whipped me with his belt. I will never forget the sound of his belt clearing the loops of his pants. I have written about it in my poetry but just this event. My parents were 5 o'clock drinkers. Every night was happy hour until they went to bed. I don't remebering them being drunk much except my mother when I was in high school. My older brother ran away several times and eventually killed himself. I never thought about why he was running and we never talked about it. He and my dad would get into screaming matches. I remember that.
It's funny how time changes things. My mother died in April of this year after a long battle with Congestive Heart Failure. Dad and I have a good relationship now. We both kind of need each other. Our only family left is on my Mom's side and they mostly blame my Dad for her death. He refused to quit smoking and drinking. Mom kept up with him until she had no choice but the ventilator to survive. I am starting to believe my mom killed herself in slow motion. She had a triple bypass in 1996 but went right back to smoking and drinking. My book of poems has the first section dedicated to her.
peace
dumbdavid
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